Q. Why don't you call this your Frequently Asked Questions page?
A. Nobody has asked me these questions. I just give these answers whether I'm asked or not.
Q. Is this really autobiographical?
A. For the most part, yes. I've taken some necessary liberties with the timeline, so something that happened to me on
Tuesday might not show up until Saturday. Also, for obvious reasons, I'm exaggerating events for humor. Sometimes only
the underlying concept will be based in fact -- for example, I never mused aloud to Ann about snot.
Q. Why do you give so much credit to Howard Tayler, BoxJam, and Dan Frioli?
A. Howard provided the inspiration merely by doing a strip. For a while I toyed with the idea of doing a sci-fi strip
myself, but it wasn't very easy -- I only came up with a handful of gags, and then I would have petered out. However, it
was being a fan of Howard's that encouraged me to try. BoxJam's comic showed me that I didn't have to draw spectacularly
well to do a spectacular comic. His style is very minimalistic, and at first I thought mine would be that simple, too. Dan
briefly considered bringing me in as a co-artist on Kan Kong, and his comments unknowingly showed me that I'd get a lot of
support doing my own comic. This triumverate is ultimately to thank or blame for inspiring the first Vicious Lies.
Q. Why do you call the strip Vicious Lies?
A. It's a fun name. And because if I seem to make someone out worse than they really are, it's a vicious lie. Plus, I figure
if people are trying to figure out what's "real" and what's "fiction", I'll just point them to the title. I'd rather have
the yahoos out there assume it's completely fiction than assume it's completely real.
Q. What's a Liars' Bench?
A. I wish I could answer this better -- I had the research in front of me at one point. A Liars' Bench is a place where people -- usually
men, usually old -- come together to brag, boast, and lie about their lives. There is/was a famous one somewhere here in Indiana,
which I read about months ago. I think it was across from a courthouse in Evansville or something. Anyway, a lot of folks were
out of work, and this bench became a meeting place for the unemployed. The boasts they told developed into a sort of art, where
you were never quite sure if you were hearing exaggeration or complete balderdash, but no one would ever challenge the speaker
to back up his claims, no matter how outrageous. Eventually, some of the men made a modest living as people would come by and
"eavesdrop" on the lies, then leave money for them. I may have made this last sentence up.
Q. Where's Connery the parakeet? You drew him in the previews, but we haven't seen him yet. And the previews are gone, too.
A. I haven't found a good joke for him yet. Plus he lives in a cage, which makes him hard to draw.
UPDATE! On Monday, May 7, 2001, Connery the parakeet passed away. I'm too upset to make a joke. I'm sorry.
Q. Why is one of Ann's hands smaller than the other?
A. Wow, you're observant! In real life, Ann was born with only three fingers on her left hand.
Q. You appear to be wearing jeans in the comics that show you recently awakened. Can't you draw your pajamas?
A. I wear jeans to bed.
Q. What?
A. Yup.
Q. With a belt??
A. Sometimes I forget to take off the belt. Sometimes the jeans need a belt.
Q. Have you considered making this page funnier? Or at least more interesting?
A. Shut up.
Q. Can't figure out how to make this more interesting, eh?
A. I think people are tired of seeing "creative" FAQ's. They're usually only funny to the writer.
Q. You just can't figure out how to do it well.
A. Shut up.
Q. Some writer you are.
A. Back off, man.
Q. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A. A Roamin' Catholic.
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